Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Who Let Gabby Out? The Start of My Senior Year In College

I AM BACK. BACK BACK BACK BACCCKKK. my DEEPEST apologizes fellow bloggers, for I have not blogged in almost two weeks. I feel terrible. I've been incredibly busy with moving back to Pullman and starting up school and what not.

I really need to try and make this whole blogging business a frequent thing, because I am constantly receiving word that I need to keep blogging more often. So I shall work on that.

In the meantime, if you have any questions or topics that you would like me to touch up on or discuss or answer, you can shoot mah drunk ass an email: g.mccone@hotmail.com. I love listening to other people's problems or questions.

I am officially starting my senior year at the gorgeous WSU, which really stands for "Wasted Students Unite." It's really bizarre to think that I've already spent three years of my life at this place. Also, I want to give a special shout out to my liver for being a trooper and holding out for so long. For everyone reading my blog, give your liver a little rub every now and then, they are, in my opinion, the most important organ in your body. They do a lot for your drunk ass, show a little appreciation now and then for christs sake.

I moved back to town about a week ago and have really just been working errry now and then and boozing. Most of the tricks here were doing sorority recruitment, so the pussy population was down for the count because they aren't allowed to drink for that week. So we go to the bars a few times and the poonani is hella scarce. BUT on the plus side, there's delicious men around, so that definitely makes up for it.

I know that I mentioned the act of day drinking in my earlier posts, but it was a flip and a flop this past weekend. We started around 1PM, and it was toasty as tits. We were all outside playing beer pong on our front lawn and gradually getting more and more drunk. One of my fellow roommates cracked open a nugget watermelon and proceeded to dump half of a fifth of watermelon vodka in that betch to soak. NOM NOM. Talk about a quick spodie. We have a sign out that we are dancing around with that says "YOU HONK, WE DRINK." Pullman just screams class. So here we are, drunk breezies dancing around with a sign and taking way too many shots of Tequila, just another typical Saturday in paradise. People begin to pass out, and the hula hoops start to come out. As the night continues, the police drive by our house a few times and give a friendly wave, they also honk, but they won't admit it of course. One of the officers comes out to give us a low down on the new nuisance complaint policies, but I think it's an excuse for him to come out and hula hoop with us and pose for pictures. Only in the Pullmonster can the cops get away with this.

It's only the first day of class, and I feel overwhelmed. Not from school work, but from the enormous population of whores that are infiltrating our campus. Every year, the shorts get shorter, and the shirts get more low cut. But I can't really say anything about that because I am infamous for wearing disgustingly short shorts. Only because I can get away with it because I have no butt crack. There should also be a picture of that on my next blog of my non existent booty meat. I like to give my readers a very descriptive idea of who they are reading about, that janky betch named Tron.

It's the second day of classes and I reek of alcohol...I think the people sitting next to me know too.

I have a damn good feeling that this blog is going to get very entertaining this year. After all, it is my senior year, and I gotta go out with a bang, even if that "bang" does mean jaundice.

Stay tuned for daily updates with the Syllabus Week Slopfest, cumming soon to a blog post near you!

Note: Every so often instead of saying "come or coming," I may instead switch that little o for a u and say "cum, or cumming." I know it's disgusting, and it's a bad habit, but I still find it way too amusing to stop. Sorry bout it yuccas.


  1. several things...

    First, you referred to you liver as 'they' so I was curious, do you have 2 livers? Because that would explain why you haven't contracted cirrhosis

    Second, you smelt really bad. I thought that girl was gonna pass out on the elevator